He's been home for a week now. Things have been pretty good up until today. The wound that was left from the severing of our engagement was nothing but a dull ache that was felt during jewelry store commercials and bridal ads in magazines. Unfortunately, when a day like today comes along, and everything I encounter has to do with marriage in one way or another, the control over my emotions was lost and the tears flowed freely, try as I might to stifle them.
I hate the fact that I take everything so personally. My logic is: Blake isn't ready to get married, therefore it's my fault. The fact that he isn't going to work next semester is his way of telling me that he isn't planning on getting married in the near future, or at all. I hate my mind. I hate my depression. Can I have some new logic, please?
I just cannot stress enough the fact that he is IT for me. There is no one else I want to be with. No one else comes close to him. Not by a long shot. If he decides that I'm not what he wants... I don't want anyone. I'll love him until the day I die.. and beyond. He is my world.
"You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine.
You make me happy
when skies are gray.
You'll never know, dear
how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away..."
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