Hello, I miss you quite terribly...

It's been a while. I apologize for that. I would say that I've been busy, but I really haven't. I have had an ungodly amount of crap on my mind, though. I'm still trying to figure out where to go to school after I leave this place. Although I think I'm getting closer to my answer. I'm still trying to figure out why people are so cruel. I don't think I'll ever get that answered. I'm still trying to figure out what I feel.

Was there ever a question of that?

I've been seriously looking at San Francisco State University for the past few days. Their music program is top notch, and its overall appeal is almost captivating. The music department is so elaborate and so huge that it's a completely different campus altogether, making it even more appealing, although it does present a problem when it comes to my other classes. There are so many positives to this school. I've really fallen in love with it. Plus, Kenny is pretty much fifteen minutes away. That adds about five billion points to it's appeal.

Speaking of, Kenny is pretty much the sole reason for my smiles this week. Lately I've been almost bored with life. I do the same mundane thing day after day after day, seeing the same people and saying almost exactly the same things. It's a nightmare, really. Kenny's been doing his own thing for a while, so I hadn't heard from him in what seemed like an eternity. The fact that we've talked for almost three days straight is reason enough to make me smile. But seriously just hearing his voice will do it. I miss him so much. I really hope that I find some way to see him this summer as we've been planning for so long. I will honestly cry if it doesn't work. Sometimes it's gotten to the point where thinking of seeing him this summer has been my only motivation. Ugh. Why must he live in California? Boo.

Nick hasn't really talked to me in about two weeks. I'm not really that upset about it, actually. It's more annoying than anything. Knowing that I let him kiss me and then have him sort of fall off the face of the earth is pretty unnerving. When will I learn? I think too much in the now moments. I really need to stop that.

That's all. I'm tired.